23rd/24th March 2010...

Well 23rd March....I noticed that Jules had gone a little quiet. By that evening I had been having semi regular contractions about every 3 minutes although not very strong. I was not sure if I was in labour but bearing in mind I have been told a few weeks before he was already 9lbs and feeling like I could burst I thought that it was most definately an option. I know people may think 'hang on a minute, Jules was her 5th baby she should know labour by now' but the reality was, my pregnancy with Natalie ended sharply at 3am one morning with a big pain, I instantly knew it was labour and sure as sure 10 minutes later another pain and it went on like that getting stronger and more frequent. Babies 2 and 3, Taylor and Jordan were both inductions. Baby 4, Jennifer I had 2 weeks or so of this latent stage of early labour to the point that when I was actually in labour I really was not sure at all, hence why I wasn't sure with Jules.

I struggled to get comfy, constant back ache made me think it was early labour. I poked and jiggled him a bit inside me but alas he did not kick back but I did feel him move, more so a shifting sensation. He was quiet most of the night to the point that I was now starting to get worried. When Roger woke up at 5.30 for work I was in tears thinking we had lost him. We cracked open the doppler and luckily found a regular heartbeat. I was happy Jules was alive at least and sent Roger to work. He had begged as it was to get the next day off when I had a regular appointment (and we would be discussing inductions) so that he could come with me and to be honest I really rather thought it would be like it was when I had my other babies and they would slow down and go quiet and I would go to the hospital, be monitored and the minute I sat down they would party on making me look like a first class muppet.

I was so very tired, very scared still and despite having gestational diabetes I had some sweet things as that can help to jig baby about....nothing worked. I got showered and dressed and took my little girl to school, all the while having these regular 3 minute contractions. I recall have a chat with a mum and thinking come on I need to get to the hospital and gritting my teeth to hide the contractions as I did not wish to admit to anyone what was happening. I came home and rung the hospital at 9am but was told not to come in till 10am as they were busy. I washed my hair in case I was kept in...stupid things I know...but it was more to waste time.

I suffer sometimes from OCD and things have to be in 'place' and as I left the bedroom something caught my eye and I recall thinking if that isn't straight this will all go wrong but as I had been trying so hard to rid myself of these feelings I shook my head at my stupidness and carried on, I can not tell you how many times that has played on my mind and in some aspects made my OCD worse.

I picked up my camera, as I thought well if this all does go wonky I want pictures, with hindsight I should have packed everything for labour. I drove down the A3 feeling so utterly sleepy and tired, in fact I think I may have nodded at one point as the car swerved a bit and I had a jump, thank god it was quiet. I parked up the car and walked into the hospital enjoying the lovely spring air. I remember seeing a man load up the car with new baby balloons and flowers for his wife and thinking that will be us in a few weeks. To be honest I was not entirely sure where to go so ended having a little extra walk. I finally found it, I was due to have the tour the following week.

The midwife seemed a bit unimpressed she had to monitor me and I waited nearly an hour to finally get put on a monitor. I sat there listening to my baby a dull thud thud thud of his even heartbeat. I had been giving a button to press if he moved but I didn't press it once in the whole 20/30 minutes I was being monitored but I could hear the woman opposite being monitored and hear her baby jumping about. I started to have a really bad worring feeling. The midwifes face when she looked at the trace said it all, she simply said the baby is not very happy I need to get the doctor but we are looking at possibly delivery very soon.

I instantly picked up my phone and called Roger, it rang and rang and rang, he had gone into a meeting and left the phone on his desk. Eventually a collegue picked it up and said he was in a meeting, I said where, he said here in the building, I said just go now and get him it's an emergency. My voice was cracking as I was telling him and the doctor came in at the same time looked at the trace and was saying to the midwife urgent delivery etc. Roger got to me in record time, they had said I had a little while so I begged him to go get my bags and the good camera and the baby bag.....